Couldn't have happened to a better guy
Report: Kellen Winslow Missed Wonderlic Exam Question Foretelling Motorcycle Disaster
Just days after he was seriously injured in a motorcycle accident, a review of the Wonderlic IQ exam administered to Cleveland Brown’s tight end Kellen Winslow, Jr. while a prospect at the 2004 Draft Combine revealed that Winslow apathetically glossed over a test question that may have foretold his recent misfortune.
The discovery was made by Max Fulton, an administrative assistant for Wonderlic, Inc. who had hoped to cash in on Winslow’s brush with death. “When I heard he had some internal injuries they weren’t really disclosing, I thought the odds were pretty good he might not make it,” explained Fulton. “I figured if he died, his signed IQ test would fetch a pretty good price on EBay, so I snatched it out of the file room."
While preparing to shoot a photo of the exam to post on the online auction house, however, Fulton noticed an eerie coincidence as his digital camera lens zoomed in on one of the questions.
Number 13, one of 50 questions meant to be answered within 12 minutes as a way for NFL executives to quantify a prospect’s intelligence, read as follows:
“If a 6 ft 4 inch, 240 pound man driving a motorcycle at 35 miles per hour strikes an 8-inch curb and is launched 16 feet in the air, how many millions of dollars will he piss away?”
Winslow’s response, barely discernable due to his poor penmanship, read simply: “I’m rich, bitches!”
The foreboding question takes on new meaning in the wake of Winslow’s latest bit of bad luck. If it is determined that a beginner cyclist popping wheelies and speeding excessively with an unfastened helmet on a motorcycle capable of 170 mile per hour while recovering from a broken leg violates the “dangerous activities” clause inserted into most NFL player contracts, the Browns can force Winslow to repay $4.4 million dollars of his initial signing bonus. When added to the $5.5 million Winslow lost in bonus money after breaking the aforementioned leg during the second game of his rookie season, it becomes clear that Winslow should have given more thought to his then ambivalent, now ironic response.
Sadly, this was far from the only incorrect response offered up by the sixth pick in that 2004 draft, who peppered his answer sheet with other immature and inappropriate responses such as “penis,” “doo-doo,” and “Wu-Tang Klan ain’t nothing to f**k with!” on his way to scoring a preposterously low 12, a result which, according to the standard classifications used by NFL scouting personnel, qualifies as “Simian.”
Many have blamed Winslow’s two-year string of hard luck on bad karma. “This is a guy who gave himself the nickname “The Chosen One,” referred to himself as a ‘soldier’ while young men were dying by the dozen in Iraq and Afghanistan, and promised to make the Washington Redskins “pay” after they passed on him with the fifth pick in the draft,” explains Brianna Smith, Associate Professor of Karmic Studies at West Virginia Wesleyan. “If anyone was due for a string of injuries and financial difficulties to give them a little perspective, he was the guy.”
Others, however, prefer a much simpler explanation. “He’s an idiot,” says Fulton. “He’s had all the advantages in life. He grew up rich, with a Hall of Famer for a dad, went to all the best prep schools and had all the best private tutors, and he still can’t score higher than a 12 on an IQ test?” “He’s not unlucky; he’s just really, really, stupid. It’s a miracle he’s lived this long.”
Just days after he was seriously injured in a motorcycle accident, a review of the Wonderlic IQ exam administered to Cleveland Brown’s tight end Kellen Winslow, Jr. while a prospect at the 2004 Draft Combine revealed that Winslow apathetically glossed over a test question that may have foretold his recent misfortune.
The discovery was made by Max Fulton, an administrative assistant for Wonderlic, Inc. who had hoped to cash in on Winslow’s brush with death. “When I heard he had some internal injuries they weren’t really disclosing, I thought the odds were pretty good he might not make it,” explained Fulton. “I figured if he died, his signed IQ test would fetch a pretty good price on EBay, so I snatched it out of the file room."
While preparing to shoot a photo of the exam to post on the online auction house, however, Fulton noticed an eerie coincidence as his digital camera lens zoomed in on one of the questions.
Number 13, one of 50 questions meant to be answered within 12 minutes as a way for NFL executives to quantify a prospect’s intelligence, read as follows:
“If a 6 ft 4 inch, 240 pound man driving a motorcycle at 35 miles per hour strikes an 8-inch curb and is launched 16 feet in the air, how many millions of dollars will he piss away?”
Winslow’s response, barely discernable due to his poor penmanship, read simply: “I’m rich, bitches!”
The foreboding question takes on new meaning in the wake of Winslow’s latest bit of bad luck. If it is determined that a beginner cyclist popping wheelies and speeding excessively with an unfastened helmet on a motorcycle capable of 170 mile per hour while recovering from a broken leg violates the “dangerous activities” clause inserted into most NFL player contracts, the Browns can force Winslow to repay $4.4 million dollars of his initial signing bonus. When added to the $5.5 million Winslow lost in bonus money after breaking the aforementioned leg during the second game of his rookie season, it becomes clear that Winslow should have given more thought to his then ambivalent, now ironic response.
Sadly, this was far from the only incorrect response offered up by the sixth pick in that 2004 draft, who peppered his answer sheet with other immature and inappropriate responses such as “penis,” “doo-doo,” and “Wu-Tang Klan ain’t nothing to f**k with!” on his way to scoring a preposterously low 12, a result which, according to the standard classifications used by NFL scouting personnel, qualifies as “Simian.”
Many have blamed Winslow’s two-year string of hard luck on bad karma. “This is a guy who gave himself the nickname “The Chosen One,” referred to himself as a ‘soldier’ while young men were dying by the dozen in Iraq and Afghanistan, and promised to make the Washington Redskins “pay” after they passed on him with the fifth pick in the draft,” explains Brianna Smith, Associate Professor of Karmic Studies at West Virginia Wesleyan. “If anyone was due for a string of injuries and financial difficulties to give them a little perspective, he was the guy.”
Others, however, prefer a much simpler explanation. “He’s an idiot,” says Fulton. “He’s had all the advantages in life. He grew up rich, with a Hall of Famer for a dad, went to all the best prep schools and had all the best private tutors, and he still can’t score higher than a 12 on an IQ test?” “He’s not unlucky; he’s just really, really, stupid. It’s a miracle he’s lived this long.”
posted by Tony at 9:57 AM
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